More Aidan! / Chapter books & parties

It was nice to have a whole week without any traveling this week. After my Montreal conference last week, I was inspired to really throw myself into pursuing a tenure-track job in the NYC area for at least a year to see if it seems like a good fit. So, this week we started experimenting with routine changes to get me some time to work on making myself an attractive candidate and pursuing the options.


On Tuesday, Alex took Kiana to playgroup at the Collegiate Church while I took my laptop back to Starbucks for the first time in a very long time. (! Ah, the memories!! Aidan still thinks that I used to "work at Starbucks"!) Friday, I went back again while he dropped of Aidan at playschool with Kiana, and then I walked her back home, worked during her nap, and then kept going while Laurie babysat and picked up Aidan from playschool. We're still experimenting with what will work best, but I am happy that I did get some work done!


This weekend, we were super-productive! Saturday, I got another work morning in while Daddy chilled with the kids at home for a while and then took a short trip on the trains for fun. Then we had TWO birthday parties! At 1:00PM, we went to Oscar's 4th birthday party (he was Aidan's friend from his old playschool, RenVillage). Afterward, Kiana caught a brief (1 hour) nap, while Daddy and Aidan took care of our annual NY car inspection. Then, at 4:30PM, we all went to Amelie's 3rd birthday party (she is Aidan's friend from his current playschool; she was Aidan's "Valentine", and he is currently smitten with her!). We had a great time at both! Aidan ended up basically surviving on sugar all day (donuts, cupcake icing, cupcakes, cake, juice!), but had a great time anyway. We enjoyed seeing friends and munching on goodies.


Sunday we caught up on basics: laundry, taxes, Costco, and a batch of teriyaki chicken. Aidan narrowly avoided falling asleep at 4:30PM, and was asleep by 7:30 (hooray!!!!!!!!!). Kiana is up to her usual shenanigans, thrilled to be on a playdate with us after Aidan goes to sleep. But I'm sure she'll cave into a never-ending-hallway-of-sleepiness or just normal tiredness sometime soon!


Highlights:


AIDAN:
- Daddy bought about $100 worth of new-to-us (used) "best early chapter books" this week, and the effect has been revolutionary! Aidan is enthralled with exploring these new worlds! He looks over the books by himself, trying to spell out the words and looking at the (much fewer) pictures; he has become incredibly excited about bed-time (more chapters!), and is turning into a (beloved) book-worm before my eyes. I love it! Our favorites so far are My Father's Dragon and Captain Underpants.
- Aidan has a new sleep routine! Alex reads him some chapters out of one of his new chapter books. Then he takes a sip of his milk, lies perfectly still with his eyes closed, and waits while Daddy turns out the light. Then, Daddy lies to him and scratches his back between 15 and 31 times (the max of either the day of the month or 15, whichever is higher). Finally, Daddy sits in the chair, checks his iphone, and rubs Aidan's back until he falls asleep (usually no more than 10-15minutes). Daddy loves it!
- Aidan has become more predictable for the moment: I find that if he gets enough sleep, and if he gets 10 minutes of solo Mama-time, he is wonderful. If he doesn't, it's a problem! It's nice at least to know where the trends are coming from, at least for now!
- Aidan continues to love making up his own language. He finds it hilarious to call me "Mama-bama" and Kiana "Kiana-biana" and spouts off in his own tongues just for fun to be silly.


KIANA
- Kiana continues to get closer and closer to walking! On Tuesday at playgroup, Daddy set her up with a walker push-toy, and she raced all the way across the fellowship hall! He came home determined to get her one of her own (Aidan's broke after much rough love quite a while ago). So, I put a call out to our local parent yahoo listserve, and someone gave us one on Thursday! She loves it!
- She continues to amaze us with how social she is. This week her thing is wandering around saying "Hi! Hey! Hi!" and waving her hand. (SO cute!)
- Kiana managed to turn the light switches on in our room! Working on those small muscle skills.
- On Sunday afternoon, Kiana asked directly for her big brother! They were playing together, and I stole her away to change her diaper. She - tired and ready for a nap - yelled in protest. Then, very clearly, she did the "more" sign repeatedly while saying "Ay-dah! Ay-dah! Ay-dah!" [Aidan! Aidan! Aidan!] As soon as I brought her back to her big brother, she was all smiles again! She TOTALLY missed him, asked for him, and was thrilled when she got what she wanted!

Montreal / Burp

This week was a particularly exciting week! On Thursday, I took Kiana on her airplane flight and her first international trip: we flew to Montreal, Canada so that I could attend the International Studies Association's annual conference there. (We had to get her a passport so we could go, and we love her cute little face on her passport photo!) I put Kiana in Kiddie Corps Friday and Saturday morning to early afternoon, and shuttled back and forth to nurse her every few hours. It was a little crazy, but it worked! The Kiddie Corps staff were superb: incredibly caring, attentive, engaged, and just totally lovely. Kiana was a trooper: she was distracted by the big kids there, and only really got upset after being left there multiple times on the second day (totally understandable!). Kiddie Corps made it possible for me to meet with my book editor (University of Michigan Press), a co-author, and attend a business meeting and a few panels, and look professional doing it. My friend Catia also babysat Kiana for a bit on Friday night so that I could go to the Peace Studies reception and thank them for making the trip possible (they gave me an award that covered a big segment of the conference costs). And then I also got to catch up with some friends who didn't mind Kiana dumping large piles of food on restaurant floors, or bouncing babies while catching up or talking career planning! The weirdest part of the trip was that the Sheraton which we stayed at was constructed in a way that the wind around it blew like a gale for the first part of the week, and every time I walked Kiana back and forth to Kiddie Corps (in the Fairmont, the *other* conference hotel!), I felt like I was going to get blown away - like Mary Poppins, but much less perfectly unruffled!. Ah, well. I am really happy that I went!


While we were gone, Daddy tag-teamed with different backup childcare options with Aidan: Thursday, Aidan stayed at playschool late (till 6PM), and Friday, Laurie picked him up at 1PM (his normal time) and they took a train ride to visit dinosaur bones at the American Museum of Natural History. Saturday, they had a treat! Aidan has been wanting to go to "the end of the A train" for a long time, but we haven't gone, because it is a LOOOOOOOOOONG way to go. But, since it was just the two of them, Saturday, Daddy took Aidan all the way to Far Rockaway, the very end of the line! On their way, they had lunch at Five Guys (a favorite!) to break up the trip. But afterward, even Aidan agreed that a 4 hour round-trip train trip was too long! It was a great Daddy/Aidan adventure, though.


Sunday, Aidan and Daddy picked me and Kiana up at the Newark airport, and we all were together again. Daddy and I agreed that, oddly enough, just having one kid is *much* easier than two, now that we are used to two. But we were still glad to be all together again!


Highlights:


AIDAN:
- Aidan now says "Burp" as a silly word. On one hand, he explained it to me very reasonably: "Mama, when I have burps, I say 'burp', so people can know it! ... Burp!" On the other hand, we know have full "burp" conversations! E.g.,
"Daddy, burp?"
"Yes, Aidan, burp?"
"Burp!"
"Burp!"
[I think this is hilarious!]
- Aidan was thrilled this week because we got him "The King's" blue mack truck hauler (to carry his "The King" race car from Cars around) as a present to celebrate all the stickers that he has gotten avoiding potty accidents and sleeping through the night. We are hoping we continue to have more reasons to celebate these trends!
- Aidan has been very into pretending to be "the GOOD superman" recently. I'm not sure if there is a *bad* superman, but I'm glad he's decided on this kind!



KIANA:
- Kiana stood up all by herself this week! She regularly walks us around the house now, and completely directs the walking (we don't pick where we are going, we just facilitate). However, this weekend, she let go of my hands, and just stood there, unassisted for about 5 seconds, before grabbing hands again and moving on! She is going to walk so soon!

Changes

Because I haven't done a "stepping back" post for a while, and because my dear friend Julia just got home with her new baby, I've been feeling contemplative recently. So, this week I'm going to talk a little about bigger picture life changes.


The change from before kids to after kids is one of epic proportions. Alex and I remember how, before kids, if we wanted to, we could sleep in until noon on weekends, watch movies (on TV or in theater), or go out on dates. We could also get sick, work late, go on conferences or trips, or have "girls" or "guys" nights out without feeling like we were letting the other person down. We were together, but we didn't really, *really*, REALLY need each other. After kids, we had to depend on each other like never before, and the continents in our world shifted. This had major impacts: "Sleeping in" now means 7:30 or 8:00AM (I think Aidan once slept in until 9AM in his lifetime - maybe lightning will strike twice before age 16!).Wakeful kids mean "movie nights" are usually shows of one hour or less (some current favorites include Glee, Eureka, and Big Love), so that the total viewing time actually takes 2 or less hours (if Kiana's teething makes it so that she goes to bed before 10:30pm - after that I can't keep my eyes open, knowing that I'll be up multiple times a night and awake by sometime between 5 and 7am). I can count movie theater experiences since Aidan's birth on one hand (always at Christmas or Thanksgiving while grandparents on one side or the other are there to babysit!). Dates, when we have them, are brunches or early-bird dinner specials, so we can enjoy ourselves without stressing that our kids are crying at home while being babysat. There are no "sick days" for parents. And when Alex (since it's usually Alex, since he is the one with a paying job right now) works late or goes away on trips, he feels bad about forcing me to hold down the fort with two sleepless children without him; and instead of getting some time to myself or to spend with my girlfriends, I move into survival mode to get through the 24hour/day marathon of taking care of small children.


It's intense, and its a huge shift! No one can prepare you for the way it feels to become a parent and go through all of this, even if they could remember it. And I don't know about everyone else, but even between my first child and my second, the high levels of sleep deprivation helped to block our large segments of memory (I don't remember teething with Aidan almost at all!).


Fortunately, as most people will tell you, it IS worth it. Our kids are cute - SO cute - "objectively" so, as my Mom (Nana Ross) has told me before! They have introduced us to a whole new dimension of life, which Alex pursued even before he knew what kind of an adventure it would be (and then convinced me to pursue, too). They've awakened a fierce love in me, that I never before knew I was capable of. And they, more than anything else, help me really live this life: to be present, rather than overly caught up in the future or the past: they smile, and (for us, at least), the whole world really does smile with them!


Changes over time happen at different points. In early infancy, it feels like babies change every two weeks. As Aidan has gotten older, this has stretched out a bit, but he still keeps us on our toes, remembering that "things work until they don't", and then things have to change. It's a constant "learning curve" as Pop-pop (Grandpa Ross) would say.


Daddy remembers 9 months being a turning point with Aidan, an age which seemed the most difficult (crawling + teeth = no sleeping & can't be put down without careful monitoring), but which got better shortly thereafter. Now that Kiana is 9 months, we are facing another set of changes, another turning point. I am ready to get out of infant survival mode and get back into a more normal life. I've lost the baby weight (again!), and am ready to get a wardrobe that fits. Along with this, I also am ready to start working toward my own career. This week, I am taking one step in this direction by going to a conference in Montreal, and taking Kiana with me. It will be an adventure, but I'm looking forward to it! Alex is already off to a strong start in his career as a civil servant with NASA GISS, with lots of global and local promise. I am glad that I know we will be a good team, no matter how that translates.


All of this contemplating started with the missing of a blog post: This morning, instead of blogging, I had Laurie babysit Kiana while I started refitting my wardrobe at The Upper Breastside (love the name!) nursing support store on the Upper Westside. I am totally happy with the result, but the shopping trip delayed the blog. Similarly, having two kids now means that it takes more time for me to write these blog posts: After Aidan was born, I would post them Sundays, or Monday morning at the latest so my Mom could read them Monday morning in Hawaii (6 hours behind New York); but with two kids, I no longer have enough uninterrupted time on Sundays: maybe doing a bit on Saturday as well will mean that there will be fewer Tuesday (or Wednesday) posts. We'll see. Changes to some routines over time change others, and everything has to settle for a while before routine changes are able to accommodate old and new goals. Thanks for sharing in the journey along the way!


Highlights:

AIDAN:
- At school, Miss Nana is calling Aidan "Professor Wiseman" because he is so smart! He can put together a USA puzzle all by himself, is reading long vowels with a silent "e" ("If Mike gets a home run, he and his pals can win the game"), is adding (1 or 2 plus 3,4,5), and is working with money. He is something else!

KIANA:
- Last week, Kiana did a whole signing series! She was staying up late playing with Daddy because of her teeth, when she signed "all done", waved "goodbye" to him, and then turned to me and signed "milk" and rubbed her eyes.
- This week, she showed us that she really remembers things! Daddy let her play with the measuring cups one day, and the next day, she crawled into the kitchen, pulled herself up on the cabinet door, reached for the drawer handle, and got e to pick her up so she could get them out again!
- Kiana loves sharing and "feeding" us. She always wants to put her food or toys in our mouths. It's very sweet!


General:
- This weekend we went up to the Catskills for the first time since Thanksgiving! Grandma and Grandpa Ruane have been in California since before Christmas, and we haven't wanted to trek up there without babysitting, so we haven't gone. But we have missed them! Aidan was beyond thrilled to be back in "his" mountain house, taking care of chores with Grandpa, and reading piles and piles and piles of books with Grandma. Kiana was not so sure about the place (she can't remember it much!), but warmed up eventually, and was willing to be adored. Mommy and Daddy enjoyed Grandma's good food, and even left the kids with Grandma and Grandpa while we wandered around Woodstock by ourselves. It was a great weekend!

9 months & more teeth / First race

It has been a rainy week, this week. Temperatures have been fluctuating between the 50s and the 30s, and it's just making me want spring to be out in full blast!


At the beginning of this week, Daddy took an abbreviated conference trip to Iowa (Monday through Wednesday), but was happily able to keep it pretty short. On Wednesday, Kiana turned 9 months old! She celebrated by finally cutting through part of her top right tooth. (The top left one is on the way as well!)


The rest of the week was pretty low key. We mostly kept to our regular routines: Monday we have soccer school (3:-5-3:50PM at the Cornerstone Church) and Monday and Tuesday we try to have playdates with Laurie, Rowan and Wesley around 4PM (after Rowan naps). We usually also have a playdate with Cira Friday, but we missed that this week.


This weekend was chill: Mommy and Daddy took a break from work, and we had fun together. Saturday, Laurie babysat 10am-1pm while we had a date! (I think this was our second date since Kiana was born? We also saw the first of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" movies in theater over Thanksgiving.) We ate brunch at Indian Road Cafe followed by a short trip to the next door vintage thrift store: It was delicious and amazing! We have been wanting to go to the cafe for a long time, and we enjoyed the yummy food and (most importantly) the chance to have an uninterrupted conversation for a whole hour (not just in 30 second increments)! We also had fun exploring the thrift store, which had 1920s flapper dresses, real fur coats, beautiful old china, and more. After we picked up the kids, we played at the PS 187 blacktop for a while, and then headed home. I made a delicious lasagna for dinner, and Cira came over to play (great to see her since we missed her Friday!).


Sunday, Aidan ran his first race! Coogans 5K Salsa, Blues and Shamrocks race was being held Sunday morning for adults, but following it they also held a kids race! (Check out the photos in the link - Aidan is in one of the slide show pictures!!!) Despite the rain, we watched the race while walking down toward the kids area first, and it was amazing: there was a different kind of band on every single block, from our house (187th street) to the finish line (168th street?): we saw jazz, mariachi, slide trombones, taiko drums, banjos,bagpipes, and hip hop DJs with a dance troupe, and more! Once we got to the adult's finish line, we registered Aidan for the kids races. He was pretty sure he didn't want to race. However, we ran into a bunch of his friends who were also racing (Olivia, Virginia and Eme - we later also saw Gage) and finally convinced him to give it a shot, and he did it! He ran the whole way, and got a medal (his first!) from a friendly policewoman. It was very exciting! He wasn't convinced that it had been such a good idea though, and refused to take pictures with his friends (he didn't want the green bagels, either). However, since then he has been very proud of the medal he took home with him!


Here are some highlights:


AIDAN:
- "My milk has to be a LITTLE bit cold in a BIG blue cup!" (10 sec microwave)
- "Mama. You are the best woman and the best mac 'n' cheese maker EVER!" (Saturday)


KIANA:
- Has a new sad sound: "Dee, dee, dee" (getting new teeth is not fun!)
- Loves sleeping on me with her feet up on my tummy/hips (restrictive, but so, SO sweet!)
- Is starting to look like she's practicing yoga! She is definitely doing a "downward dog" stretch - Aunt Frances would be proud of her!